grinninfoole

I have been thinking about doing this all this week. Actually, I feel like I should do this; I fear to do so. I'm worried that contacting Sabbath will lead to more broken friendships--that I'll wind up having to choose between friendship with FA and friendship (and maybe more) with Sabbath.

Of course, the longer I leave it, the more she'll write me out of her life, and I'll lose her friendship that way. Right now there's a lot of pain associated with her for me, but I know that I buried my feelings for her for years, so it doesn't surprise me that I can't touch them. Given my willingness to betray both friendship and principles, they must be very powerful.

FA counselled me to wait, at least until the semester is over. And she's right--part of the reason I fear emotional disruption is that I shan't be able to get anything done, which is already difficult. But, as I said last night, I am afraid to contact Sabbath, and I can't decide if I should do what I fear to do (as is my wont), or if, in this case, listening to my fear is indeed the wiser course.

Edwardum occidere nolite timere bonum est.