Edwardum occidere nolite timere bonum est.

[grinninfoole]

I have been thinking about doing this all this week. Actually, I feel like I should do this; I fear to do so. I'm worried that contacting Sabbath will lead to more broken friendships--that I'll wind up having to choose between friendship with FA and friendship (and maybe more) with Sabbath.

Of course, the longer I leave it, the more she'll write me out of her life, and I'll lose her friendship that way. Right now there's a lot of pain associated with her for me, but I know that I buried my feelings for her for years, so it doesn't surprise me that I can't touch them. Given my willingness to betray both friendship and principles, they must be very powerful.

FA counselled me to wait, at least until the semester is over. And she's right--part of the reason I fear emotional disruption is that I shan't be able to get anything done, which is already difficult. But, as I said last night, I am afraid to contact Sabbath, and I can't decide if I should do what I fear to do (as is my wont), or if, in this case, listening to my fear is indeed the wiser course.

Edwardum occidere nolite timere bonum est.

Comments

Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

Which is it? Refrain, Not to kill King Edward is Right or Refrain not, to kill the king is right? ummm....an interesting difference.
You say that you might have to choose between FA and Sabbath. Why? Do you think that FA will give up on you because you are getting yourself into something that she probably thinks is a bad idea? Do you think she's that inconstant of a friend? She doesn't like morlock and makes no bones about saying it but she hasn't given up on me yet. Would Sabbath ask you to give up FA? Would you do it for her???? That would be really cold. You've known Sabbath for a long time and I know you've been really good friends at times in the past but she has shown that she can be well...unreliable, whereas FA has (at least in my experience) always been at your side since the day you became friends.
Personally I think that you should try to maintain your friendship with Sabbath because it is important to you or else this process wouldn't be an agony. As far as "maybe more" I STRONGLY recommend against that at least in the near future. You both have a LOT of issues you'd need to work out before that could become a viable option.
I think perhaps the best thing is to write her and tell her honestly that you don't want to write her out of your life and you don't want her to write you out of her life but that you just simply CANNOT deal with this right now. FA is right about the demands of work coming first.
That is my two cents. Hope some of it helps.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[filthyassistant.livejournal.com]

His comment might be arising from the simple fact that I told him it might come to that. Not if he chooses to be friends with Sabbath, but if the "something more" happens. Neither of them have sorted out their issues yet. And given how much suffering she has caused him, (not all her fault, true, but mostly) I would not be able to watch it. If he were to do this now, I would not be able to ignore it. I would avoid it. If it worked out, great. If not, I would help him pick up pieces, but I am not a strong enough person to simply watch anyone knowingly go into a situation that has hurt them before. I told him (though only once, this counts as two) that if he were to start up a "something more" relationship at this point, I wouldn't be able to watch. I couldn't be a part of it and I couldn't hear about it until it was perfectly clear that this was in fact a good thing, and not the mistake I think it would be at this point. They both have work to do. My $.02.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely. I wouldn't be able to watch him get hurt in a situation that he knew could be a minefield. It would be too painful. That is why I too suggest the holding off on "something more" until their myriad issues are worked out. Hell, perhaps in the end they are perfect for each other. Look at NoAccident and her beau. But not now.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[grinninfoole.livejournal.com]

I think the practical upshot of both your advice(s?) is that I should give this whole mess time to heal.

But I don't wanna! I wanna feel better now! I hate waiting. Am contemplating changing my handle to whininfoole....

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me! ;-)!!!

About tonight....I need to do a few things when I get home. Go to the bank and stuff. Is the crust still good? I remembered this morning we forgot to put it away last night. Do you have a plan? Let me know.
S.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[grinninfoole.livejournal.com]

We are still on for tonight as far as I know. The dough is in the fridge (you forgot, but I am Sancho) and I expect it's still OK. For late this evening, we should listen to Stormcloud's radio show.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

Definitely. I figure I'll do my errands and then come over, ok? Probably around six.
S.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you see his posts but it is at a special time tonight 9:30 to 11:00. Just in case you didn't get the heads up.
S.

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

sorry...9-11:30

Re: Would you really have to choose?

[macropixi.livejournal.com]

Just for the record, I too addvacate using caution and allowing yourself some time.

I do understand about wanting that instant satisfaction thing, such is the byproduct of our now now now society.

BTW

[sydneycat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for thinking of the dough, Sancho.