A minor but satisfying achievement.
Aug. 18th, 2002 01:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grinninfooleTonight, Sabbath and I had dinner with her family, to celebrate her birthday and her parents' anniversary. Afterwards, and this is the important part, I drove home. I have been behind the wheel of a stick-shift car only once before in my life, six years ago. I stalled out a few times at the I-90 tollbooth getting on 91, but on the whole I did pretty well. Yay me!
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<i>Grandiose Proclamations 101</i>: Review for Supervillians
Date: 2002-08-21 09:37 am (UTC)Doom might consider the remedial supervillian writing course I have referenced in my subject line, available this semester in fact, at Evil Fortress University. Sadly there is no satellite location in the Carpathian mountains, but I do believe they offer an online course of study.
Regards and all the best,
Brash Female
ROTFLMAO
Date: 2002-08-21 12:29 pm (UTC)I am writing to apply for the position of Electronic Publisher (Job ID# 23985). It is evident from your response to your potential client Mr. Doom that your organisation needs someone versed in the cutting edge in worldwide electronic communications. As my resume shows, I have been programming computers from the age of 8 and am versed in Logo, Basic, C++, and HTML. Furthermore, I am completely comfortable with many common operating systems and software packages. Additionally, I have worked with sensitive materials and my confidentiality is beyond reproach. I feel I would be an excellent addition to your evil empire.
All the best,
Webmistress of Darkness
Re: ROTFLMAO
Date: 2002-08-21 03:34 pm (UTC)However, Doom could use someone with your discretion, programming talents, fearlessness and propensity for evil to maintain his army of Doombots. Do you have any experience working with anti-gravity generators, mini-fusion reactors, and high-energy plasmas?
your inquiry
Having been forwarded your impressive resume by my colleague in the Evil Fortress University Division of Continuing Education, Ms. Female, I invite you to consider applying for an open position to which we believe you would be better suited, a tenure-track position as Professor, Illuminati School of Government and Other Systems Hacking.
Do not be fooled by the annoyingly difficult-to-produce and ultimately meaningless acronym: The IS-GOSH is an award-winning institution boasting many illustrious evil genius graduates, none of which we are at liberty to name. We alternately work with and threaten to betray an impressive list of governments (G-8 to rogue states), multinational corporations and evil geniuses, some of whom are E.F.U. graduates. In perusing your resume, we here at E.F.U. were particularly impressed with your early mastery of computer programming and almost paranoid attention to privacy, signs of a true mad genius that we believe is best shared with the young villainy of today.
As a Professor at the Iluminati School, you would be required to teach three classes a semester, two if you are interested in running one of our cavern-based codecracking labs, which we are proud to say are all functioning round-the-clock, 365 days a year. If you chose to run one of our labs, you would be coordinating the infiltration of national weapons systems, the compromising of worldwide intelligence networks, and the re-routing of secret Swiss bank funds to this university's off-shore financial accounts, discreetly based somewhere near Bahrain. Our labs are manned by only our top students, slowly being driven mad by a generously-funded coffer of chocolate doughnuts, espresso shots and crystal meth. All this helps keep the Illuminati School one step well ahead of superhero and League of Justice-type interference.
As a tenure-track Professor, you would be given great freedom in designing your courses. However, please note that until such time as you were actually granted tenure, you would be required each year to teach one freshman course covering evil laughter and the devilish rubbing together of hands.
Perusal of your credentials indicate that you both meet and exceed the criteria outlined for this position. We here at IS-GOSH are eager to meet you in person and hope that you will submit to a blindfolded bunker interview with our Dean of Faculty as soon as is possibly convenient. Should you be chosen for the position, you would be be eligible for a generous benefits and retirement package and a tax-free, undisclosed wild sum as a signing bonus. You would also be given unquestioned supervision of various annual evil research grant monies (mainly provided by the Bill Gates ONE OS TO RULE THEM ALL Foundation), and a legion of the best and brightest fawning mad genius students, all falling all over themselves to become your next favored minion.
Of course, if you accept, you will be expected to produce such standard obligatories as an oath signed in blood and a family member - a formality to ensure your continued loyalty until such time as you retire. Please note that distant relatives, in-laws and pets (including white Persian lap cats) are not considered acceptable sureties.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Luna T.C. Genius, B.Evl.; M.A.Narciss.; ArchVLN
Chair, Illuminati School of Government and Other Systems Hacking
Evil Fortress University
Mein Gott In Himmel!
Date: 2002-08-22 03:02 am (UTC)*wheeze* *cry*
Re: your inquiry
Date: 2002-08-22 03:12 pm (UTC)Doom can offer the Webmistress incredible wealth, for are not the funds of the Bank of Doom his to dispense as he pleases?
Doom can offer power, for are not the very forces of nature, both mundane and mystical, at his beck and call?
Doom can offer security, for is not his kingdom an impregnable fortress realm?
Doom can offer an unfettered scope for her talents, for can he not confer full diplomatic immunity?
Finally, Doom can offer opportunities literally beyond imagining, for can he not travel to both past and future?
Foolish, foolish EFU!! Now do you see the folly of attempting to outdo Doom??
Re: <i>Grandiose Proclamations 101</i>: Review for Supervillians
Date: 2002-08-21 03:53 pm (UTC)