Stuff I felt like saying
Jul. 25th, 2004 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grinninfooleI have been looking at the LJs of a few US soldiers posted in Iraq. I am very glad that I am not there. Ordinary life has left enough emotional scars for me, I'm glad I haven't had to shoot anyone. (or get shot, for that matter.) I am troubled by my sense that expressing a willingness to listen to someone's service stories will come across as ghoulish, though. I'd like to think I can genuinely empathize with any human experience, even if it's one I haven't shared.
I appreciate anew my mother for her strength of character in raising me. My father, her father, and some of her so-called friends all had very little respect for her opinions and feelings, and I am profoundly grateful that was able to cope with all of their bullshit without taking it out on me, or drinking too much, or popping pills. Now, however, I feel guilty for not doing more to make her life easier, but I honestly feel that the biggest stressor she faces is my Dad's white-knuckled grip on his emotional equilibrium. Everything and anything is a crisis, and he unthinkingly carries on as if his distress excuses him from considering how others feel, especially my mom. Every time I talk to her and she's having a bad day, it's because his tantrums have tired her out. I can't make him stop and I can't give her more self-confidence so she can tune him out, but I feel bad for not doing more.
I may well have an extension for my school work, after all. Go figure.
I still have not seen, but wish to see, Farenheit 9/11. I suspect, however, that the documentary folks should have been paying attention to, though, is the Hunting of the President. Yeah, it's about Clinton, but damn, people, most of those fuckers are right there with Bush, today.
Going away on a trip to England and France soon. I hope all goes well.
Looks like I won't get to go to Gencon, after all. A bummer, but I won't mind the extra writing time.
Feisty has really taken to sitting with me when I use the computer: crouching on the computer table, perching on the window sill, or sitting on the other chair. Sometimes, she meows at me. She's such a sweetie, I'll miss her while I'm away. Must make arrangements for her for those days. (Yet another reason to miss Filthyassistant.)
Speaking of FA, I had occasion to reflect upon our time together as roommates, and to consider what a lousy job of setting up personal boundaries I did. I can't recall the number of times she asked me simple questions like "when will you be home? Would you like me to make us dinner?" to which I couldn't give straight answers. In retrospect, I was a big pain to live with. I guess Feisty is even more charming than I had realized. :)
I appreciate anew my mother for her strength of character in raising me. My father, her father, and some of her so-called friends all had very little respect for her opinions and feelings, and I am profoundly grateful that was able to cope with all of their bullshit without taking it out on me, or drinking too much, or popping pills. Now, however, I feel guilty for not doing more to make her life easier, but I honestly feel that the biggest stressor she faces is my Dad's white-knuckled grip on his emotional equilibrium. Everything and anything is a crisis, and he unthinkingly carries on as if his distress excuses him from considering how others feel, especially my mom. Every time I talk to her and she's having a bad day, it's because his tantrums have tired her out. I can't make him stop and I can't give her more self-confidence so she can tune him out, but I feel bad for not doing more.
I may well have an extension for my school work, after all. Go figure.
I still have not seen, but wish to see, Farenheit 9/11. I suspect, however, that the documentary folks should have been paying attention to, though, is the Hunting of the President. Yeah, it's about Clinton, but damn, people, most of those fuckers are right there with Bush, today.
Going away on a trip to England and France soon. I hope all goes well.
Looks like I won't get to go to Gencon, after all. A bummer, but I won't mind the extra writing time.
Feisty has really taken to sitting with me when I use the computer: crouching on the computer table, perching on the window sill, or sitting on the other chair. Sometimes, she meows at me. She's such a sweetie, I'll miss her while I'm away. Must make arrangements for her for those days. (Yet another reason to miss Filthyassistant.)
Speaking of FA, I had occasion to reflect upon our time together as roommates, and to consider what a lousy job of setting up personal boundaries I did. I can't recall the number of times she asked me simple questions like "when will you be home? Would you like me to make us dinner?" to which I couldn't give straight answers. In retrospect, I was a big pain to live with. I guess Feisty is even more charming than I had realized. :)
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 01:21 pm (UTC)You were right. He someone who needs a person in his life. And I can't be that person for him, but I should call him more. I would like to do that tonight. I sort of don't know what I'll say, but I think it's important to let him know I care.