(no subject)

[grinninfoole]

My father is still in the rehab hospital. He's stronger in general, but he still has abrupt, unpredictable episodes of his blood pressure dropping. Thanksgiving morning, while simply sitting in a chair, he passed out and his BP was measured at 53/38; naturally, we didn't bring him home for dinner with us. He's taking medicine at much higher doses than average to control his condition, and even getting IV fluids and salt tablets, and yet this is still happening. It may take some time for him to be well enough to leave the hospital.

An important step towards that would be for him to accept that he is seriously ill, and that the ground rules of his life have to change. I see moments of recognition when I talk with him, but for now he lacks insight and is still liable to get restless and try and get up on his own, which will be disastrous when he blacks out. Part of the problem is that when he isn't blacking out he basically feels OK, and can get up and walk around just as he has for the past 82 years.

Personally, I seem to be in a bit of a low spot. I always like to say that I'm fine, but I'm really not. I'm OK–not sick, not hurt, not in peril–but last night I was extremely tired, yet I couldn't actually settle down and sleep, because I just didn't want to lie there in the silent dark, so I stayed up all night watching TV to distract myself. Now I'm so exhausted my ears are ringing. I guess I need to accept myself more.

Comments

[fridge-buzz-now.livejournal.com]

*hugs* All you can do is try your best to take care of yourself and be there for your dad when you can.

[vizsludraugas.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you get out of it soon.

[anagramofbrat.livejournal.com]

I always like to say that I'm fine, but I'm really not.

Yep, I have problems with this a lot, so I can relate.

All the hugs ever.

[millari.livejournal.com]

The Blood Pressure Randomness of Unknown Etiology is understandably frustrating to your dad and your family both. Especially when your dad doesn't remember it happening and it fuels his general low-level paranoia that he's caught in a Kafka/Camus scenario where people are telling him he's sick but he doesn't see much evidence for that. When I've been there with you watching you deal with it, I've not envied you. It's hard just watching you guys navigate your way through all the uncertainty of it. *hugs*

Personally, I seem to be in a bit of a low spot.

Yeah, I've been sort of noticing. You look tired and beat down when you come home from work. Don't know if this con you've gone to this weekend will help or hurt, but I hope it will be a welcome distraction. I wish I could say this stuff with your dad is definitely going to get easier, but it's so ambiguous right now. :(

Don't stay up all night watching t.v. until you grind yourself into an exhausted pulp. I'm around. Talk to me about it, okay? I'll always listen, even if I don't have answers.

Yes, accept yourself more! I demand it! ;)

[sundart.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I'll be thinking of you... *hugs*