An extraordinary outing, part 1.

[grinninfoole]

The day after the wedding, M and I piled into an SUV with her brother, his wife, her dad and her step-mom. We then drove, along dirt roads over sometimes terrifying precipices, to see the Jesus of Leon. It's a 20 meter bronze statue of Jesus on top of a mountain near Guanajuato, and it's visible from all over. I was told that it's a twin to the more famous one in the mountains over Sao Paolo, Brazil. There were many people there, busloads of tourists, and many people were clearly there on pilgrimage (some even approached the altar under the statue on their knees.) The view was panoramic and spectacular, the actual statue (devoid, as it was for me, of religious significance) was boring, and day was quite pleasant. That's not what this post is about, though.

Instead, there were three really telling moments for me on this trip, the first of which happened on the mountain top. While looking out at the surrounding area, I made eye contact with a paunchy, balding guy with curly black hair and beer in his hand. I nodded and said 'hello'. He nodded back. Inspired by the friendliness I had experienced from everyone I had met on this trip, I did something I don't know that I would otherwise have done: I walked twenty feet over to him and introduced myself. The guy, whose name I eventually learned was Severian, understood almost no English at all, which complimented my total ignorance of Spanish. We both admired the view for a minute and then he invited to come to his home for dinner. And hugged me. I was totally creeped out. He wasn't coming on to me, he was just inviting me, a total stranger with whom he could not communicate, to come to his home, meet his family and eat his food. I knew he'd been drinking, but this went well past my boundaries, so I was very uncomfortable. I tried to be gracious, and explained that I was with a dozen other people. He invited all of them, too. And hugged me some more. I kept politely declining, and eventuallly Michelle's dad bailed me out (he thought Sevriano was drunk, too) and talked with him for awhile. He was able to tell me that my new friend was actually a doctor who had been to the USA several times and really liked Americans and just tried to be hospitable to the when he was at home. [Well, as I think about it, I suppose that the guy might have been coming on to me. I don't know how tough it might be to meet other guys in a heavily catholic country, so he might have thought I was picking him up. An American would have been more open about cruising me, and would have spoken English, so I just don't know. In any event, the point is that my discomfort wasn't based on sexual discomfort. I wasn't in danger and I knew it. I was just really, really uncomfortable. Afraid of this total stranger's bizarre generosity. It baffled me, and my confusion led me to a fight or flight response.]

No one seemed to find Sevriano' behavior unusual or alarming, though perhaps a bit overzealous in his extension of hospitality. From that moment, I began to understand better what people mean when they say Yankees (that is, New Englanders) are stand-offish.

Comments

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

Next time, instead of Spanish, try Portugese. :)

The way people from other countris deal with personal space can be rather difficult. I had no problems in the UK, Australia or Germany, ut meeting peole for a few other places hs led to some discomfort for me.

We Yanks have much more of an expectation for personal space than others do.

[grinninfoole.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was never weirded out like that in Europe, though perhaps if I'd mixed more while I was in Spain I would have met more such behavior. And from what I understand, the Japanese are even touchier about not being touchy.

Why Portuguese by the way?

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

I misread what you were saying and thought you were in Brazil. Mea culpa.