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Jan. 11th, 2005 11:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grinninfooleI don't know quite what to say about it, but I am inspired to reflect on friendship today. Yesterday, my old friend OPD and I were driving back from fun in Boston. He was chatting on his cell with his girlfriend in New York. I was ignoring them and thinking about game design when OPD said that his girl wanted to talk to me and handed me the phone. I have never met or spoken to this woman before, so I was uncomfortable that her first words were to the effect of 'why hasn't OPD asked me to marry him, yet?' I ducked the question, and started talking about my own experience with Millari, and the thirteen year path that has brought us to where we are now, and mentioned that I have spent 20 years consciously working towards being who I am now, and spending about 11 of those years doing at least one form or therapy. OPD's lady then went said that she wished OPD was more open about his feelings and inner life, like me. I did my best to deflect the conversation away from any sort of comparison of my (admittedly impressive:) virtues with those of my friend, and got off the phone as gracefully as I could.
I don't know if that's typical of this woman, or of my friend's relationship, and I hope that this does not end in tears for them both, but that's not what's really occupying here. Instead, I'm struck by OPD's guardedness. I have known him over 20 years, and while I have had some deep conversations with him, I don't think I know the inner man. I don't know how much I really wanted to know ten years ago, but I think OPD wants it that way, and has wanted it that way for as long as I have known him. Now, though, I'm disturbed by the relief in his girlfriend's voice when she said that she was relieved that he had someone to confide in, because he was very closed off with her. Now, I'm worried for my friend. If he's not talking to me, or to her, I don't know who he is talking to, and maybe it's no one. That must be very lonely. I hope that OPD knows that I will listen if he wants to talk, but I fear that he may remember my past sins better than I, and perhaps he knows better.
I don't know if that's typical of this woman, or of my friend's relationship, and I hope that this does not end in tears for them both, but that's not what's really occupying here. Instead, I'm struck by OPD's guardedness. I have known him over 20 years, and while I have had some deep conversations with him, I don't think I know the inner man. I don't know how much I really wanted to know ten years ago, but I think OPD wants it that way, and has wanted it that way for as long as I have known him. Now, though, I'm disturbed by the relief in his girlfriend's voice when she said that she was relieved that he had someone to confide in, because he was very closed off with her. Now, I'm worried for my friend. If he's not talking to me, or to her, I don't know who he is talking to, and maybe it's no one. That must be very lonely. I hope that OPD knows that I will listen if he wants to talk, but I fear that he may remember my past sins better than I, and perhaps he knows better.
